I'm having a bit of an identity crisis.
I no longer feel like me, I've lost sight of my likes and dislikes and its suddenly hit me that I'm no longer 18!
I went from a gothy teenager who thought the world was against them to a weekend raver dabbling in the rave scene and drinking myself silly.
Blanking out most weekends.
To then becoming pregnant a few months after my 21st!
Obviously becoming a mother changed me for the better, but I feel like I didn't really get the chance to discover my true self before being thrown into the deep end of life.
For the last 7years I've been busy making sure my babies are getting everything they need and making sure they are reaching all their milestones and eating all the right things and I've let myself drift to the back of my mind and not worried too much about myself.
Fast forward to now ..... three months before I hit 30 and I'm feeling rather blah!
I know we should all look on the positive side of life and just get on with it, but sometimes you do just want to sit there and have a little one person self pity party
To make this post less jibberish I'm going to break it down into sections of things that I dislike about myself and why....
So I shall start with >
Hair :: I recently completely utterly destroyed my once lovely hair!
I tried to go pastel purple from black!
Yes I am that silly!
It worked but the bleach destroyed my hair and made it feel like chewing gum.
I kept my hair purple for about 2 days then decided actually it wasn't for me and I suit darker hair - which of course I already knew as this isn't the first time I've buggered my hair up - the last time resulted me in having to chop off my lovely long locks into a short bob. Which isn't really my cup of tea, I love having long hair and feel it suits me more.
I no and trying to resist going back to black by having a chocolate brown colour but the bleach keeps making it fade.
So as it stands I'm trying out lots of different oils and masks which are semi working but it's still a work in progress to get it back to semi decent hair.
Make up :: I've been doing my make up the same way for years, though the last few years I haven't bothered so much, just foundation, blusher, eyeliner and mascara. I feel the need to actually have some make up lessons and try different techniques.
I only own one make up brush and I've had for God knows how long.
I know this is a big syn in the world of make up.
Any recommendations for good brushes will be welcome!!
Mum Tum / c-section over hang :: After 4 kids I'm not in bad shape and I only hit the scales at 10 stone, which I'm not too bothered by before 10 stone would had made me freak and stop eating, I'm past that stage of my life and I'm quite happy with my weight.
It's my stomach!!!
To put it one way it annoys the hell out of me!
It just hangs there like bread dough waiting for a good kneading!
I really need to tone it up but it just seems impossible.
Clothes style :: At the moment I feel i have no style and I'm feeling a bit stuck in a rut, wearing the same thing day in day out. Then when I feel I've made a little effort I see a picture and think oh for f*ck sake a potato sack would have looked better!
I need a whole wardrobe over haul.
Really what I need if for Gok Wan to come fondle my boobs and tell me what I should be wearing!
Diet :: Well to put it bluntly my diet is just shite, but I'm working on this and you'll see that in a post coming in the next few days.
Skin :: Is just dull dull dull. I know improving my diet will help, but also any recommendations for a good face regime to get the glow back will be welcome!
Those are my main issues and I'm gonna try and sort it out, how?!? I dunno but nothing is impossible if you really want it!!!
I probably am just having a bit of a flip out about turning 30, but if it's time for a change then there is no better time than when entering a whole new chapter in your life!
Like I've said a few times above, any recommendations will be very much welcome, either leave a comment below or get in touch via my email :: hannahshaw1985@hotmail.co.uk
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